12-14 yrs

Q How are young people developing?

This is a time of big changes in children's lives as they start to move into their teenage years and start to be a lot more independent of their parents and family.
At 12 children will also move to secondary school where they go from being the oldest at school to the youngest and where they often have to make new friends. Friends and people at school become much more influential and most teenagers want to fit in with their group of friends in how they look and how they behave.
Because girls start to go through puberty earlier than boys, at age 12 they can seem a lot more grown up than boys.
By 13/14 most will have sexual feelings for the same or the opposite sex. It is around this time that many teenagers will feel attraction to people of the same sex. For some this doesn't last and for some it continues and they will identify as being gay, bisexual or lesbian. Most feel anxious fancying people of the same sex and about losing friends and family if they are open about this.
Teenagers will start to have romantic and possibly sexual relationships.
In Glasgow, 13 is the average age for teenagers to have their first experiences of sexual touching
Internet and mobile phone use are common and teenagers are potentially exposed to sexually explicit material and vulnerable to others seeking to exploit them.

Q What do they need from their parents?

To explain about the changes at puberty, particularly with boys. Recommended book
To talk to them about different types of relationships and how to deal with expectations, pressures, setting boundaries. Recommended website.
To help them to keep feeling good about themselves and how their body looks
To help them to understand their own and other people's feelings
To help them to learn about their rights and responsibilities - within relationships and to services, confidentiality, consent. Recommended website
To help them figure out how to be more independent, deal with risky situations and stay safe